There’s a lot of talk about sex addiction not being an actual addiction or it being too shaming of a term, what do you have to say about that?
You know, I don’t get so caught up in the labels. I definitely believe in addiction. I do think that there is sex addiction, but that’s not really the focus of my sessions. The focus is about what their relationship is with the behavior and what discomfort is being caused. I am a part of two groups, I’m a certified sex therapist and a certified sex addiction therapist and it’s all about being able to bring healthy sexuality back into the life of a person that previously was distressed with their sexual behavior.
A lot of it is normalizing it and really seeing if there is dysfunction or not because sometimes people can come in with BDS, that they enjoy BDSM or that they enjoy kink or that they have a same sex attraction and that’s not necessarily pathological. Really it’s about not focusing so much on the labels and listening to the person and being where they’re at and taking the shame out of it. If they’re into BDSM and they’re not hurting anyone and they’re not having consequences as a result of it and by consequences I mean real consequences, not my wife doesn’t like it. That’s not a consequence.