What is the most common rationalization that you hear from sex addicts?
Charlene: Two different categories. If they are in a committed relationship, that their partner wasn’t giving them enough sex or enough attention. If they’re not in a committed relationship, and they’re just into anonymous sex or masturbation or porn, specifically with guys: this is normal, this what guys do, it’s cultural, it’s a male thing. Those are the 2 main rationalizations.
What’s really interesting is when I have both of those people in group. It doesn’t matter whether 1 person is not having sex at home. I can have another person that is having sex with his wife and they’re still both acting out. I can have 1 person that comes from a culture where sex with as many women or as many men is okay, then I can have another one where you have to wait until marriage. It’s all about monogamy and they’re both still sitting in the same room. No matter what the rationalization is that’s what I always point out is the common denominator is we’re still acting out.