Self disclosure. Tell me a little bit about what you’ve experienced personally or in your own relationship with therapy, Imago, whatever.
It’s been a long road for me. I have definitely done all different types of therapy. I’ve done the emotionally focused, I’ve done the Gottman, I’ve done the Imago. Luckily, I have a very willing husband or [schleppy 00:00:29] that has definitely- He’d been a part of the process. For me, the emotional work, the emotionally focused types of therapies have definitely been by far the most rewarding, because I’ve been able to see parts of partner that I wasn’t really able to see with more of these solution focused. Solution focused is basically, you have an issue with, he doesn’t take me out on dates, or she doesn’t say I love you enough. It’s just forming a schedule, and following the schedule.
I find that when I’ve done that with couples, I do it for a month or 2 months, and then they call me 6 months until we’re still on the same situation, now with a different topic. That was me. Hopping from therapist to therapist. Until I really found therapist that dealt with the attachment, that they dealt with the inner child, that they dealt with the emotion, and the root of the issues, I didn’t start seeing changes in my relationship. Then the idea that he’s the problem, or she’s the problem. I had to completely smash that idea, because there was no he’s the problem or she’s the problem, we have difficulty in this relationship. The core is that, we want to be together, and we want to make this work, and that we were either going to both focus on what the problem was, or we were going to focus on how to make it work.