Relationships fall apart when the emotional living space between partners isn’t being tended to. What we ultimately seek in a committed relationship is to love and to be loved, in a way that that allows both partners to flourish and feel safe. Recent work in attachment theory suggests that both partners can develop the ability […]
Is sex addiction the real thing? A bona fide phenomenon?
There’s a lot of talk about sex addiction not being an actual addiction or it being too shaming of a term, what do you have to say about that? You know, I don’t get so caught up in the labels. I definitely believe in addiction. I do think that there is sex addiction, but […]
Predictors of a successful marriage.
What are the predictors of a successful relationship? Several predictors. We talk about building these love maps. Love maps is really knowing the inner psychological world of your partner, turning towards your partner … What we call “bids.” Right? Partners will kind of throw something out there to connect, and the other person is […]
Predictors of Divorce!
What are some predictors of divorce? The Gottman’s, in their research, have talked about several predictors. The 4 horsemen is one of them and that’s when couples use contempt and defensiveness and stonewalling and criticism. Another one is when negativity overrides positivity. Every time someone is arguing or talking, all that the individual focuses […]
Techniques for improving communication
Can you recommend a technique to help improve communication? I think active listening is one of the most important techniques. Like I’ve said before that hearing and listening are 2 different things. I could hear the words but not really listen to what they mean. Active listening is a lot of repetition of what […]
Can a marriage survive infidelity? If so, how?
I think a marriage can survive anything as long as two people are willing to work on it. I think the infidelity needs to be explored as to the why. The one thing that I always make clear is that someone who goes outside of the marriage never does it because they weren’t getting […]