Inner child work in recovery I had a realization about why I have been feeling so fearful, alone; about work, fatherhood, my career, and being a good husband. I seem to be trying to prove that I am “good enough”. Feeling unloved, unlovable, frightened, and mired in self-pity! Wow, just hearing myself say that […]
Workaholism – Daily Action Plan – A Critical Tool For Sobriety
I wanted to get this out there and expound upon how it came about for me a little bit later. Like most things that I think are incredibly powerful and helpful, it is not my creation, but a personal adaptation that works for me. If you are a workaholic like me, I am guessing it […]
Full Body Scan Meditation – A personal mediation “hack”
This is a practice that helps me have a much more grounded, grateful, and fulfilling day. I stumbled on it, in the middle of a ritual that I do first thing in the morning. It is a mix of things that I have learned that just seemed to make sense, at a pivotal time. I […]
Sex addict recover option in Miami, Fl
Sex addicts in miami, have many options available to them should they seek treatment
Miami Location
If you think that you may need help coping with the challenges that life brings, you are in the right place! Charlene Lewis and her team would be happy to help you. Licenses therapists including Charlene Lewis – Miami Location – have a wealth of experience treating sex and couples issues. We offer addiction counseling, […]
Charlene Lewis Sex Therapist Featured on Miami’s 880AM “The Biz” Radio Show
Charlene Lewis Sex Therapy Radio from joshlew on Vimeo.
Marcel San Pedro – LCSW, Addiction, Recovery, Relationship Specialist
Therapist Background Marcel San Pedro, MS, is a Registered Mental Health Counseling with the state of Florida. He is graduate of Nova Southeastern University with a Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling. Marcel comes to the practice of psychotherapy and counseling after a successful career in the Media industry. He has 20 years of experience […]
All About Sexual Anorexia – A manifestation of Sex Addiction
Sexual Anorexia in Sex addicts While all forms of addiction are incredibly difficult to overcome, there are a few types of addiction that present particularly unique challenges. Alcohol and substance abusers, for instance, are not dependent on the substance of their addiction for their survival, while food addicts are. Although many alcohol and substance abusers […]
“Crossing the Bridge” in marriage counseling
Relationships fall apart when the emotional living space between partners isn’t being tended to. What we ultimately seek in a committed relationship is to love and to be loved, in a way that that allows both partners to flourish and feel safe. Recent work in attachment theory suggests that both partners can develop the ability […]
Is sex addiction the real thing?
There’s a lot of talk about sex addiction not being an actual addiction or it being too shaming of a term, what do you have to say about that? You know, I don’t get so caught up in the labels. I definitely believe in addiction. I do think that there is sex addiction, but that’s […]
Predictors of a successful marriage
What are the predictors of a successful relationship? Several predictors. We talk about building these love maps. Love maps is really knowing the inner psychological world of your partner, turning towards your partner … What we call “bids.” Right? Partners will kind of throw something out there to connect, and the other person is either […]
Predictors of Divorce
What are some predictors of divorce? The Gottman’s, in their research, have talked about several predictors. The 4 horsemen is one of them and that’s when couples use contempt and defensiveness and stonewalling and criticism. Another one is when negativity overrides positivity. Every time someone is arguing or talking, all that the individual focuses on […]
Techniques for improving communication
Can you recommend a technique to help improve communication? I think active listening is one of the most important techniques. Like I’ve said before that hearing and listening are 2 different things. I could hear the words but not really listen to what they mean. Active listening is a lot of repetition of what the […]
Can a marriage survive infidelity?
Couples Succeed with Healthy boundaries
In the early stages of treatment in couples therapy, what do you recommend that each individual has to do when everything is so wrong? That’s a tough stage. I tell partners sometimes things get a little worse before they get better. The reality is that their hour sessions, they’re coming once a week, sometimes every […]
Rekindling desire
Do you see the desire actually come back in these couples who don’t want to have anything to do with sex and then actually start scheduling it? Do you see that turn around at all? Absolutely. Absolutely, because once they can get past the who initiates, and the withholding sex because they’re angry, and the […]
Sex after the children take over
Another one is the lack of sex, and a lot of times I tell couples at that time it’s crucial to schedule it. You can get really caught up in changing diapers, taking to daycare, cooking, all of the things that come with kids. Playing with them, being with them, and it’s very easy to […]
How couples tackle differences with respect to child rearing
Another issue that couples present after they have kids is with child rearing, different points of view, different ways that they would do things. What’s important to one person may not necessarily be important to the other one, and that sometimes brings a lot of conflict. One of the things that we explore is why […]
How does a couple “stay connected” after children?
Being very conscious about it. A lot of times, I see couples who … They come in. The presenting problem is lack of sex in their relationship. These couples usually have been married 5 years, 10 years. Inevitably, when I ask them when did the problem start, they always say, “After the kids. After my […]
The Blame Game
What do you find when a couple comes in and one of the partners is basically saying, “This is all the other party’s fault?” From what I’ve seen in my own experience, everybody has a role and part to play. How do you deal with that person? I’m pretty straight forward with them. I always […]
Should couples seek individual counseling as well
There’s some personal work that needs to be done and then there’s work between the couple. Is it important that both patients are seeing individual therapists? What do you see? Yeah, that’s a very good point. I’m glad that you brought that up. Usually when I get a phone call I ask the couple if […]
Self Disclosure: What’s worked in Charlene’s Relationship
Self disclosure. Tell me a little bit about what you’ve experienced personally or in your own relationship with therapy, Imago. It’s been a long road for me. I have definitely done all different types of therapy. I’ve done the emotionally focused, I’ve done the Gottman, I’ve done the Imago. Luckily, I have a very willing […]
Imago Techniques 2
It sounds like a lot of work, really getting into what makes you tick as a patient and trying to find out exactly why you think or behave the way you do and then leaving that all aside and really getting into the experience and past of your partner. It is. It’s definitely a lot […]
Imago Techniques in Marriage Counseling
How would you use imago techniques to be able to have them relate on this sort of level? I think the crossing the bridge that Heidi and Yumi, who are 2 therapists that do imago here in Miami use, and basically it really requires one person to listen and not hear what the other person’s […]
Inner Child Exercises
Are there any exercises? Can you have them do something to be able to relate to each other in that way? In emotionally focused therapy, that’s kind of the way that I do it. Part of that therapy is getting one person to really do all of the talking at the beginning. You know, asking […]
What is needed to explore inner child in couples
What does it take to really be able to go inside and see, what that little boy or little girl is experiencing, or that they have experienced? Then kind of relate it to their behavior in the present? Safety, is primary. Safety and trust. As a therapist, I have to be able to gain the […]
Childhood attachment issues addressed in marriage counseling
Tell me a little bit about attachment or attachment disorders. Attachment is a phrase that has been gaining a lot of popularity in the last couple of years and really it started off with children and parenting styles. That’s kind of where it stems from and a lot of the research has shown that depending […]
Address Discrepancies in sexual desire
Discrepancy in sexual desire. Some imbalances between husband and wife, “I want more, she wants less.” With that it’s, it could be multiple things. One of the first things that we rule out is anything medical, for both the male and the female. Having them do a medical workup, either by a primary physician, a […]
Gottman: Healthy conflict in couples
In the Gottman research it’s shown that in order for couples to have healthy conflict, there needs to be 5 positive interactions for every negative interaction. Now that’s a tall order! When I tell a couple that they look at me like I have 3 heads. That’s really key. A lot of this is […]
The bane of today’s couples: The four horsemen!
I’ve heard you mention the 4 Horsemen that rear their ugly heads for couples. Tell me a little bit about that? That is coined by the Gottman’s and the Gottman’s are therapists who have been studying couples for over 30 years in what they call their “Love Lab.” I’ve done some training in Gottman and […]
Common themes in couples therapy
What are some of the most common themes or issues that are brought into couples therapy? I think one of the common trends that I see in my couples is one person wanting to connect, and the other person withdrawing. Not that they don’t want to connect, but they don’t really know how to connect. […]
How to regain intimacy
All right Charlene, tell me how couples regain intimacy? That’s a good question. I think before going into the how to, it’s important to define what intimacy is for couples. A lot of times when I talked to couples, when they start talking about intimacy, one of the first things that they attached to that […]
Couples Therapy Themes: The schlepper and schleppee.
The schlepper is the one that is doing the dragging. The “schleppee” is the one that’s being dragged into couples therapy. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the couple, there’s always one and the other. A lot of times I think that with couples, it’s important to accept that we have different personality types […]
What is addiction? The latest findings.
There has been a lot of talk lately on what addiction is and how everything we thought as professionals about addiction is wrong. In the past one of the ways to treat addiction was with “tough love”. When I work with an addict, one of the first things I see is an individual who is […]
Marriage Hack: empathy and compassion!
As a couple’s therapist, part of what I do is observe couples communicating with each other. Two key elements that are crucial for effective communication are empathy and compassion. When I see couples in my practice and I watch them communicate with each other I find that although they are hearing the other person they […]
Effective Communication in Couples Therapy
Recently, I saw a couple that has been married for 12 years and have 2 children. The husband presented his issue to me as: “ we are having difficulty communicating and we need to rekindle our relationship”. This issue is not unique to this couple, in fact many of the couples I see experience this […]
Sex Addiction deniers
What modality does couples therapist Charlene Lewis use to treat couples.
Speaker 1: What modality do you use to treat couples? Speaker 2: I love working with couples. I love just the dynamic in the room, and I use a lot of the techniques from Imago therapy. I myself went with my husband to an Imago training, and it absolutely changed our relationship, so I truly […]
Can addiction be completely cured?
Can addiction be cured? Is there any way of reserving it? Charlene: No, addiction can’t be cured. ASAM, the American Society of Addiction Medicine, their definition for addiction is basically that it’s a primary chronic disease of the brain and it deals with brain rewards, motivation, memory and all the related circuitry. Basically, the disease […]
What is the goal of addiction treatment
What’s the goal of addiction treatment? Charlene: The goal of treatment is to bring back healthy sexuality into the individual’s lifestyle. Unlike with the other substances where it’s totally eradicated and you don’t use a substance anymore, with sex it’s not so much about we’re not going to have sex. It’s we’re going to learn […]
What is addiction?
What is addiction? Charlene: Addiction is described as a pathological relationship with a mood altering experience. Basically what that means is for the alcoholic, the first time they get drunk, that experience of ease and comfort that they feel. Or for the gambler, the first time that they win, the high that they get. It’s […]
When do symptioms of addiction go away? When can I get some relief?
When can I expect the cravings to go away? When would an addict start actually feeling relief or I guess when does it become less of a struggle and more about living life? How long does that take. Charlene: I think that’s different for every person. Unfortunately I would love to be able to wave […]
Treating trauma in addicts and alcoholics
Charlene: Absolutely. About 80% of the clients that I see have trauma. This is always a really tricky subject because a lot of times when I bring up the word “trauma” in a session, people can get very defensive and say, “No, no, I haven’t had an trauma. My childhood was great. Everything was wonderful.” […]
Addiction Treatment: How is addiction treated?
What do you see in terms of treatment. You work at a treatment facility and you worked at a treatment facility for a while. What course of action is generally taken? Charlene: I think depending on how far the disease has progressed would be the level of care. There’s different types of treatment. There is […]
How do I know if I am a sex addict?
Tell me a little bit about sex addiction. Charlene: I think sex addiction goes under-reported. Probably the primary reason is because of all of the shame and the taboo that’s attached to it and I think by far a lot of individuals suffer silently from sex addiction. We have to remember that with sex addiction […]
Common issues that couples address with Charlene Lewis in Couples therapy
I think one of the common trends that I see in my couples is one person wanting to connect, and the other person withdrawing. Not that they don't want to connect, but they don’t really know how to connect. That bleeds into sex, spending time together, parenting, a multitude of issues. I think one […]
Couples Therapist discusses her techniques – EMDR
I use EMDR when treating the trauma in the sex addicts. EMDR was founded by Shapiro. Basically it is reprocessing. Desensitizing, reprocessing, installing healthier cognitions, healthier ways of thinking. The way that I describe it is that we react to things in our everyday life and sometimes we have no clue why we react. […]
What is EMDR and how is it helpful in treating addiction?
Therapist Charlene Lewis discusses her use of EMDR to treat addicts in her practice. You use EMDR. What is EMDR? Charlene: I use EMDR when treating the trauma in the sex addicts. EMDR was founded by Francine Shapiro. Basically it is reprocessing. Desensitizing, reprocessing, installing healthier cognitions, healthier ways of thinking. The way that I […]
How the internet has fueled sex addiction, making it more potent.
Charlene, how has the internet played a part in sex addiction across the country? Charlene: That’s been a boom. It’s all about instant gratification. It’s about more, more, more, quicker, quicker, quicker. When we think about how it’s progressed, at the beginning magazines. You’d have to go, get dressed, get in your car, drive over […]
Are Alcoholics and Addicts often untreated sex addicts?
This video speaks to the prevalence of sex addiction with patients that have been abstinent from alcohol and drugs and long term “sobriety.” Do you see sex addiction threaten patients with long-term sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous? Does it threaten their abstinence? Charlene: It can. It absolutely can because again it goes […]
Modality of treatment used to help Sex Addicts achieve and maintain sobriety
Charlene Lewis describes what she has found most effective in treating sex addicts. What modality do you follow for treatment of sex addiction? Charlene: I was trained under Patrick Carnes. I’m a certified sex addiction therapist. The way that I treat the sex addicts is very task-oriented, very behavioral. I was trained under Patrick Carnes. […]
Common Rationalizations used by Sex Addicts
What rationalizations are used by the sex addict to justify continuing to act out on their addiction…..? What is the most common rationalization that you hear from sex addicts? Charlene: Two different categories. If they are in a committed relationship, that their partner wasn’t giving them enough sex or enough attention. If they’re not […]
Why are partners of sex addicts treated as trauma victims?
Trauma Why are partners of sex addicts treated as trauma victims? Charlene: The reason they’re treated as trauma victims is because they have undergone an extreme amount of stress in their relationships, usually by the time that they come and seek help. There’s a lot of lying. There’s a lot of deceit that goes on, […]
Is Sex Addiction Progressive?
Sex therapist Charlene Lewis describes the progressive nature of sex addiction. Is sex addiction progressive? If so, how so? Absolutely. For a sex addict, it may start off innocently. It may start off peer pressure, just natural experimenting, and like with the other addictions, there’s a natural progression. There’s early stages, middle stages, late stages. […]
The roll of shame in sex addiction
How do secrecy and shame play into sex addiction as opposed to other addictions? Charlene: Well I think sex has been such a taboo subject and we’ve been taught that sex is a very private matter and I think a lot of times people confuse privacy with secrecy. It’s something that is very isolating. When […]
Sex addiction inhibits intimacy
Sex Therapist Charlene Lewis describes the effects of Sex Addiction on intimacy. How does sex addiction prevent people from having intimacy in meaningful relationships? I think any addiction prevents intimacy because addiction is all about separating me from you, but with sex addiction, because it’s such an isolating addiction or it can be, basically what […]
Is Sex Addiction really and truly an addiction?
Sex therapist Charlene Lewis speaks to the misconception that Sex Addiction may not be a true phenomenon There’s a school of therapists that believe that sex addiction actually doesn’t exist. Can you speak to that a little bit? Charlene: I can. You know it’s kind of difficult for me sometimes because I am on, like […]
What is a sex positive approach to sex addiction?
Sex therapist Charlene Lewis discusses “sex positive” therapy. I’ve heard the term sex positive. What is sex positive? What does that mean when treating sex addicts? That’s a very controversial question. For me, sex positive is something that’s not shaming. If a client comes to me and says that he feels shamed with masturbating then […]
Sex Addiction: The Shame Cycle
Okay. Can you explain the shame cycle that is especially pertinent in sex addiction? Charlene: I think the cycle that comes up in sex addiction usually starts off with a feeling at first so I always try to get my patients to get in touch with whatever it is that they’re feeling. A lot […]
¿Cómo sé si soy un adicto al sexo ?
¿Cómo sé si soy un adicto al sexo ?
Carnes Task 7: Participation in a culture of support
Carnes Task 7. Participation in a culture of support. What is that all about? That’s very important. Like I’ve said a million times in this interview is that addiction is all about separation and disconnection. There’s been a lot of articles coming up in the Huffington Post, in the New York Times lately about […]
Carnes Task 6: Establishing Physical Health
Okay. Tell me a little bit about the Carnes Task number 6, ensuring physical health and integrity? Speaker 2: In that task, we’re really focusing on their physical health. We encourage them to go to their primaries, get tested for all STDs, really try to get in touch with taking care of their physical […]
Carnes Task 5: Establishing Sobriety
Establishing Sobriety. That sounds like a pretty daunting task. I don’t know exactly what that might mean with respect to Carnes, but what does he say? Speaker 2: In Establishing Sobriety, basically that’s where we’re working on a relapse-prevention plan, your three circles, your healthy sex plan moving forward, so Establishing Sobriety is a […]
Patrick Carnes Task 4: Examining the Damage Done
Establishing Sobriety. That sounds like a pretty daunting task. I don’t know exactly what that might mean with respect to Carnes, but what does he say? Speaker 2: In Establishing Sobriety, basically that’s where we’re working on a relapse-prevention plan, your three circles, your healthy sex plan moving forward, so Establishing Sobriety is a […]
Patrick Carnes Task 3: Surrendering to the process
Carnes Task 3: Surrendering to the process. What does that mean? Why is it important? Speaker 2: There definitely has to be a surrender, and a surrender meaning I am open. I’m open to being educated. I’m open to going inside myself and looking. I’m open to disclosing to you my secrets, all the […]
Patrick Carnes Task 2: Educating the Sex Addict about the disease concept.
The second Carnes task, educating sex addicts about their disease, what’s that all about? Why is it important? Charlene: That’s very important because one of the biggest nits is, “I’m this horrible person.”, that I’ve done this, that I’ve done this to my family, that I do this to myself, or the other end […]
Carnes Task 1: Breaking through denial
Charlene, the first task in Carnes’ Model for treating sex addiction: Breaking Through Denial. Can you tell me a little bit about that? What is that? Sharlene: The number 1 defense mechanism in addiction is denial, across the board, any kind of addiction. The acronym I like using for denial is: Didn’t Even Notice I […]
Sex addiction threatens sobriety of addicts and alcoholics in recovery
Do you see sex addiction threaten patients with long-term sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous? Does it threaten their abstinence? Speaker 2: It can. It absolutely can because again it goes back to the shame. The shame, the guilt, the isolation and if an alcoholic or an addict is feeling that long enough and […]
Treating partners of Sex Addicts: Spouses treated as trauma victims.
Why are partners of sex addicts treated as trauma victims? Speaker 2: The reason they’re treated as trauma victims is because they have undergone an extreme amount of stress in their relationships, usually by the time that they come and seek help. There’s a lot of lying. There’s a lot of deceit that […]
About Empathy In Sex Addicts
Okay. Charlene, do you find sex addicts empathetic to their partners? Charlene: I think it depends on where they are on the progression of their addiction. I get both parts. I get sex addicts who come in to me because they got caught, and that’s really the only reason they’re coming through my door, because […]
Couples Therapist Discusses improving communication
Common Issues I see in couples therapy
What are some of the most common themes or issues that are brought into couples therapy? I think one of the common trends that I see in my couples is one person wanting to connect, and the other person withdrawing. Not that they don’t want to connect, but they don’t really know how to […]
Letter to AASECT therapists with respect to sex positive training and sex addiction
I am relatively new to AASECT, I became certified in 2010 with Dr. Lee in Miami and then continued on for the AASECT certification. I am a certified addiction professional and have worked at South Miami Hospital Addiction Treatment for over 7 years. As a therapist at South Miami, I realized so many of my patients had […]
Sexual Abuse on Sexuality: How might it effect you?
Survivors of sexual abuse are forced to cope with the trauma of their situation in myriad ways. Personal insecurities, shame surrounding the assault, fear of a future attack—these are all issues that become real to the sexual assault victim. However, the effects of sexual assault are not always so clear. There are some situations in […]
Women and Sex addiction Powerpoint Presentation
The following PowerPoint Presentation was sourced from Iitap’s website and was created by sex addiction pioneer Patrick Carnes. It juxtaposes sex addiction in the female population, and how it presents, against what was once believed to be a male only addiction. A greater proportion of sex addicts are female, then are alcoholics.
Sex Addiction 101 Slide Show by Patrick Carnes
Sex addiction basics
12 ways to manage stress
Stress can affect just about anyone and is caused by several different factors including work overload, death of a family member, job loss, financial problems and even crowds. When you are stressed out, you can feel nauseous, dizzy and tired. Although stress can be difficult to deal with at times, it can be managed. Here […]
Why Resentments Diminish Sexual Desire?
Good sex requires more than just passion to work. It also requires a willingness to be open to one’s partner, especially emotionally open. When a partner holds resentment for any reason, that openness is compromised. In fact, resentment negatively affects nearly every enterprise a person engages in, according to Psychology Today (link below). Resentments in a romantic or marriage partnership can […]
Does my partner suffer from sex addiction?
Couples can enjoy sex. However, this activity often becomes a source of heartache when a partner cannot seem to control sexual behaviors. If you suspect your partner is a sex addict, you might want to learn the signs if you think your spouse has a problem. What is Addiction? The American Society of Addiction defines […]
Process addictions
In the past, addiction referred to substances like drugs and alcohol that affected the brain. In 2011, the American Society of Addiction Medicine broadened the definition of addiction to include process addictions. (1) Instead of an addiction to substances, process addictions revolve around an addiction to behaviors. The behaviors provide reward and relief to people, […]
What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a social phenomena and a psychiatric term that stems from a stage play during the 1930s called “Gas Light.” It was also later made into a movie starring Ingrid Bergman. In the story, a wife is made by her husband to think she is crazy, when in reality she is not. The husband […]
Gratitude: a fundamental practice for recovery of addictions.
When looking for a way to improve one’s happiness in life, it’s important to understand the importance of gratitude. It is through gratitude that a person can find much appreciation and thankfulness for both the little and big things in life. From one’s family to one’s career to one’s home, there is so much to be thankful for. If a […]
Addiction: the family disease.
According to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc. (NCADD), addiction is a family problem. In fact, there is an entire section of their website filled with resources to help you deal with an addiction in your family. (1) Hazelden. a nonprofit organization that helps people who faceaddiction in their lives, found that 77% of those people they […]
Sex Addiction: an Attachment and Intimacy Disorder
Sex addiction can wreak havoc on a marriage. Sex addicts have obsessive thoughts regarding sexacts, fantasies and think about sex so much that it occupies a disproportionate amount of their time. This can create a number of problems for married couples. It is my belief and understanding that sexaddiction is really an intimacy and attachment disorder. People that suffer from sex addiction often have trouble: stopping the addiction on their own. gaining the trust […]
Do we marry our parents?
When couples get into heated arguments, accusatory phrases such as “You’re turning into your mother” and “You are just as bad as your father” can sting. But are you truly criticizing each other for some annoying attribute that calls a parent to mind — or are you recognizing an underlying similarity that drew you together […]
What is compulsive masturbation?
Masturbation is frequently viewed as a dirty, shameful, even sinful act. Ironically, our sexualized society has deemed sex, whether alone or with another person, a taboo subject, something we should rarely acknowledge. The truth is that masturbation is as natural as the sexual urges that prompt it, and, according to Dr. Gloria Brame, a clinical sexologist, it’s […]
How to build intimacy after infidelity
For a woman, intimacy in a relationship involves intimate shared moments, whether emotional, intellectual or sexual. When two persons have an intimate marriage, they communicate on many levels. While sharing certain common likes and dislikes matters, intimacy extends beyond mere shared commonalities. An intimate moment occurs when a man and woman are able to transcend the mundane world. A […]
Erectile Dysfunction and Pornography
Erectile Dysfunction and the Use of Pornography One recent study published by the Journal of Sex Medicine shows that of the diagnosed cases of erectile dysfunction, 25% of those cases involve young men.[1] Another study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, noted that 30% of young men deal with erectile dysfunction today.[2] Among younger men dealing with sexual dysfunction, sex […]
How to Improve Communication in a Marriage
Married couples find all sorts of challenges during their marriage. One of the most prevalent is keeping communication open and effective between the two spouses. Not all couples have an easy time relating to each other. Some may find that they need to go to couples therapy to solve these issues and other ones that they may […]
Sex Addicts with Enmeshed Mothers
Sex Addicts with Enmeshed Mothers Based on statistics, it is estimated that over 30 million people in the United States alone, suffer from a sexual addiction. Sexual addiction within itself is a largely misunderstood and taboo subject in many quarters of society. Those afflicted can usually identify that there is something unsettling or “off” […]
The Difference Between “Cheating” and Sex Addiction
The Difference Between “Cheaters” and Sex Addicts Research shows that up to 30% of individuals, both women and men, admit to cheating while in a relationship. Within the past few years, many celebrities caught cheating have cited sex addiction as their problem, causing debate on the difference between a cheater and a sex addict. In some cases, sex […]
Erectile Dysfunction in young men
Erectile Dysfunction in Young Men Men over the age of 50 most commonly experience erectile dysfunction (ED). However, new studies and surveys show that erectile dysfunction also affects young men, and as many as 25% of men with ED are under the age of 40. Since many young men deal with this problem, it’s essential to learn about the potential causes of ED […]
Sexual Compulsivity and Paraphilias
What are Sexual Compulsivity and Paraphilias? Paraphilia Related Disorders (PRD), also referred to as sexual compulsivity, are not well recognized even though they have been present for some time. These disorders include socially accepted forms of sexual expression that become intrusive or excessive for the patient and are accompanied by personal distress and significant impairment. […]
Women’s Sexuality
Women’s Sexuality – Therapy for a happy and fulfilling Sex Life The purpose of this article is to discuss the history of women’s sexuality, female sexual anatomy and response, sexual dysfunction and treatment, sexuality through the life cycle, the partner, and specific techniques on how to help yourself. It is very important that women and […]
Alcoholism and Drug Addiction- Stage 3
At this stage, the addict’s life is breaking down emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally. this breakdown is as a result of the stress caused by the acting out. The acting out no longer produces pleasure and the pain is inevitable. The addict will begin behaving in ways they never thought possible and they get to […]
Struggling with intimacy in recover
Chemical dependency and intimacy dysfunction are closely linked and both need to be treated simultaneously. To address intimacy in recovery it is crucial to treat the chemical dependency first. However, if issues of intimacy and sexuality are not addressed by the therapist, the patient will find it difficult to bring up this topic on his/her […]
Alcoholism and Drug Addiction – Stage Two
Stage Two: Lifestyle Change The behavior of the addict is the most visible part of [intlink id=”254″ type=”page”]addiction[/intlink]. The behavior generally occurs after the addictive personality develops. These behaviors are signs that the person is out of control internally. In Stage One an individual may experience some of the out of control behaviors but in Stage […]
Alcoholism and Drug Addiction- Stage One
Stage One: Internal Change The addicts’ personality is permanently altered. The basic illusion [intlink id=”254″ type=”page”]of addiction[/intlink] is based on finding relief through objects. The journey begins when the addict experiences the first high/mood change. In the mood change there is the illusion of control, comfort, and perfection. Examples: Compulsive gamblers = first win Compulsive spenders = purchase […]
Anxiety and Stress
Couples Therapy Tip: Relationship Inventory
RELATIONSHIP INVENTORY Answering the following questions often leads to insight in my patients who seek both individual and couples therapy. Please describe your feelings in this relationship with your spouse, I.e. “I feel rejected when he/she …”, “I feel controlled when he/she does…” Describe your needs that are not being met. Do you feel some of […]
Miami Sex Therapist on Low Sexual Desire
Miami Sex Therapist on Low Sexual Desire A lack of sexual desire is not as uncommon as many people may be led to believe. The libido refers to the desire for sexual activity or sexual drive and varies from one person to the next. There is no one specific standard that can be issued for […]
Is therapy confidential?
In general, the law protects the confidentiality of all communications between a client and psychotherapist. No information from therapy sessions may be disclosed without prior written permission from the client. However, there are some exceptions required by law to this rule. Exceptions include: Suspected child abuse or dependant adult or elder abuse. The therapist […]
Is medication a substitute for therapy?
In some cases a combination of medication and therapy is the right course of action. Working with your medical doctor you can determine what’s best for you. It is well established that the long-term solution to mental and emotional problems and the pain they cause cannot be solved solely by medication. Instead of just treating […]
What is therapy like?
Every [intlink id=”16″ type=”category”]therapy[/intlink] session is unique and caters to each individual and their specific goals. It is standard for therapists to discuss the primary issues and concerns in your life during therapy sessions. It is common to schedule a series of weekly sessions, where each session lasts around fifty minutes. Therapy can be short-term, focusing […]
How can therapy help me?
A number of benefits are available from participating in [intlink id=”16″ type=”category”]psychotherapy[/intlink]. Therapists can provide support, problem-solving skills, and enhanced coping strategies for issues such as depression, anxiety, relationship troubles, unresolved childhood issues, grief, stress management, body image issues and creative blocks. Many people also find that counselors can be a tremendous asset to managing […]
Do I really need therapy? I can usually handle my problems.
Everyone goes through challenging situations in life, and while you may have successfully navigated through other difficulties you’ve faced, there’s nothing wrong with seeking out extra support when you need it. In fact, therapy is for people who have enough self-awareness to realize they need a helping hand, and that is something to be admired. […]
Is therapy right for me?
Seeking out therapy is an individual choice. There are many reasons why people come to therapy. Sometimes it is to deal with long-standing psychological issues, or problems with anxiety or depression. Other times it is in response to unexpected changes in one’s life such as a divorce or work transition. Many seek the advice of […]
Can I drink non-alcoholic beer if I am an Alcoholic?
This is not suggested because even these drinks have some alcohol content. So basically 6 non-alcoholic beers is the equivalent to one beer. Alcoholics drink for the effect produced by the alcohol. So if you start drinking these and begin feeling some effect chances are you will switch to the real thing. Also the mind […]
Never drink again?
Many young adults who suffer from addiction have this same question. It’s scary to think you can never have a drink again. Thankfully it is one day at a time. If you use some form of treatment,/12 step program, it can be done and you will have a complete and fulfilling life. Remember alcohol is […]
What are triggers?
Triggers are events, people, situations that may lead you back to using. Two major components that underlie the addictive process are excitement seeking and tension reduction. Any of these two components can lead a person back into the addiction cycle. Parents, friends, anger, sadness, clubs, loneliness, anxiety, unmet sexual needs, depression, criticism. In other words […]
What do I do if I have to go to an event where there is alcohol?
Alcohol is legal and it is inevitable to be around. I f you have to be somewhere where there is alcohol the most important thing is having a plan of action and remembering that you are powerless over this substance. Taking your own car, brining someone with you, having phone numbers of people you can […]
How do I know if I need treatment?
If you have tried to stop multiple times with no avail, chances are you need help. Treatment is helpful because there is a level of accountability and because of the group nature the feelings of isolation slip away. Some individuals may need to be taken out of their environment for a certain period of time […]
My partner also drinks and uses drugs, is that going to be a problem for me?
If an individual is determined to get help for their addiction, I believe nothing can stop them. At the same time, they may have to make difficult choices. Recovery is something only you can do for yourself, but you cannot do it alone. Some people have partners who are social drinkers/users, if they are supportive […]
I am a strong person and have a lot of will power, why can’t I stop?
Addiction has nothing to do with will power. Just like with cancer or diabetes, you can’t “will” away theses diseases, you can’t keep yourself from having a heart attack or make your heart stop beating. It’s a humbling experiencing to recognize the powerlessness over the substance.
Do I have to stop socializing with my friends if I admit I have a drug problem?
In early recovery it is suggested that you stay away from old people, places and things. Because we have lost the choice to use or not to use and have recognized powerlessness, if we continue to be around the drugs and alcohol it will make it very difficult to say no to the drug or […]
Is addiction progressive? Will things get better on their own?
Yes. Addiction is a progressive disease that if left untreated can cause death. There are 3 stages: early, middle and late. In the early stages of addiction is when an individual uses drugs with no negative consequences. This stage is called experimentation. It is enjoying a drink or smoking a joint with friends and not […]
Why and how did I become an addict?
Addiction may stem from 3 components: biological, social, and psychological. If you have a history of addiction in your family you may be genetically predisposed (just like if there is a history of diabetes, heart disease, cancer etc..). If you grow up in area where drugs are predominant and everyone uses chances are you will […]
If my problem is marijuana can I still drink?
Chances are if you are addicted to one substance, especially if it has become a psychological dependence, abstinence from all mood and mind altering substances are the only way to go. All mood/mind altering substances affect the same area in the brain and the brain can not distinguish between the substances. So what happens is […]
What if I don’t believe in God?
No problem. Spirituality and religion are not the same concept. If you are an addict and have lost the power to choose whether you drink or use, what you need is a power to help you regain choice. What is really needed is a Power greater than you and the substance you are using. Some […]
What is a sponsor?
A sponsor is someone who like you tried to control their addiction, made empty promises, felt the shame and guilt as a result of their addiction, were either physically or emotionally addicted to a substance or activity and found a way out of the vicious cycle. They are individuals who follow spiritual principles to cope […]
What are the 12 step meetings about?
Because this disease centers in the mind, which is where our thoughts, emotions, impulses, feelings, and processes stem from, it is difficult to recover ALONE. Meetings provide the help we need. At meetings you will find other individuals who struggled with the same problem and have found a solution. There only purpose is to stay […]
Do I have to go to 12 step meetings?
12 step recovery programs do not have a monopoly on the recovery process. This being said, millions of addicts and alcoholics have fully recovered using the 12 steps. No other plan of action has had anything like this success rate. This is how I see it: If you were diagnosed with another disease and the […]
Can I learn to control my drinking?
If you are an alcoholic, you will not likely learn to control your drinking. Once the line has been crossed into alcoholism, an alcoholic may however become adamant about finding a way to manage their drinking. This is alcoholic thinking. There is a saying that “once a pickle, never again a cucumber”. This doesn’t mean […]
How do I know if I am an addict?
Addiction is the only disease that needs to be self-diagnosed. An addict is a person who experiences a loss of control, continues to use drugs, alcohol, or a specific activity despite adverse consequences. It is an individual who becomes psychologically and/or physically dependent on this specific activity or substance.